You’re digging this person, but you’re not sure if he/she feels the same way. Why does he keep looking at his watch? Why is she so quiet? Don’t panic. Take a breather and try these methods.
1. Adapt to their body language & their speech.
If she’s crossing her arms, check if you’re subconsciously giving her signals that you’re closed off. Likewise, if she’s giving you positive signals such as leaning close, lean closer. It’s an interesting and effective psychological trick to mirror your date’s behavior. If they start whispering, whisper too. Alikeness breeds familiarity and familiarity fosters attraction. Stay subtle and classy.
2. Pick an exciting venue.
Bowling, hiking, painting, or rock climbing. Concerts, karaoke, workshops, or parties. Museums, old antique gift shops, hipster cafes, or even cemeteries (yes, that happened to me once). A stimulating venue provides a third medium that can dilute any weird quirks that might come up on the first date.
3. Focus on how you’re alike, NOT the same.
Look for what you both have in common BUT have a unique opinion about what you all have in common. Let’s say you’re both passionate about music. Great foundational glue. But if you start ripping off what he enjoys, then you have no personality. Stay authentic. Have fun. Dare to even critique his eclectic taste in Jazz.
4. Confident Flattery.
Flattery Will get you far. But the keyword is confidence. You need to compliment someone affirmatively, and in a way, that enhances Your value at the same time. “I like wit in a girl” vs. “You’re so smart!” Instead of, “Gosh, you are so hot!” say “Guys in uniform are so sexy.”
5. Live in the Moment.
If you become too pre-occupied with making an excellent first impression and self-monitoring every move of your date, you’ll lose track of the present moment. Go into the date as if you were meeting an acquaintance of a really, really good friend. Imagine you already have their pre-approval (they are your “best friend’s friend” anyway). When you don’t have a little self-critic in your head, you’ll truly be present and enjoy the date, no matter the outcome.